Breaking Oz with News
by brumble B Friday, Dec 1 2006, 3:27pm
national / social/political / other press

Fiji prepares for Oz invasion by leaving blackhawk helicopters on its beaches. A kava intoxicated Commodore Frank 'Bullawayo' has once again forgotten his coup deadline and Australia's Minister of Defence, Dr Brendan (studs) Nelson, faces hostile relatives over the latest cover-ups and military fiascos! Well done, ‘studs’, the record of Robert (suck harder) Hill will soon be under threat.

Minister of Defence, Brendan Nelson, displays naked ear

Howard’s travesty government in action! Millions in tax-payers money to compensate mistakenly deported citizens, children overboard (with Australian integrity) race riots, food prices go through the roof, interest rate rises, mortgagee sales, Costello targets kids as reactionary hostiles planning to invade Canberra and overthrow government, and that is just what immediately comes to mind, but there’s more, much more!

The Oz military is doing its best to emulate the lobotomised yanks, where have all the standards gone? A leader reflects the standards and character of his nation, cringe, and cringe some more, Oi, Oi, Oink!

The two biggest tragedies facing Oz at the moment are the idiot wind Labor opposition party who have had victory served on a platter countless times only to fumble and lose the plot (and everything else!) As stated elsewhere, a high school debating team could have won government from the lying, inept, criminal Howard crew – but not the Labor Party of Australia!

The second tragedy is the loss of one of Dr. Nelson’s diamond ear studs, has anybody seen it? Not likely, a population that can’t see the nose on its face has No Hope! Australian society has come of age, ten years of Johnny’s cringing, lying, weak, spineless government leading the nation backwards at light-speed. The Australian masses love you, Johnny Coward; ten years speaks for itself – John Howard, war criminal and U.S. lackey but we still love you Johnny! A perfectly gutless tribute from a gutless public – what a day for an Australian tragedy!

But wait, fasten your seat belts and prepare for the next instalment of how not to win an election; there’s yet another leadership challenge from the factionalised Labor party – but do you think the penny has dropped on the unproductive faction system? Nah, no way, it's same ol’, same ol’, business as usual in the land of the lost down under.

But it’s Christmas and we can all get pissed and forget our cowardice, apathy, personal debt (and everything else). Put a fetid prawn on the barbie, Oi, Oi, spew, oops, sorry about that, maate!

While we’re all guzzling piss and tucking into toxic seafood and GM-fed Christmas Turkeys, remember there’s an Aussie having his fifth Christmas in solitary confinement at Torture Bay, three cheers for Oz solidarity, mateship, camaraderie and lack of identity – there’s not another nation like it, anywhere!

This is toe-touching Australia everyone, come on down and give it to us where we have learnt to accept it, Oink, Oink, Oink!

Commodore Frank Bainimarama -- kava abuser